A Love Story.....Just Beginning

Continuing on from my post "The Love Story Continues", after I left the airport I had to go back to work. Jonas went home and I had to go endure five more hours of work. I told Jonas I would come over to his house later that evening. I was so nervous the rest of the day! The five hours felt like ten. I honestly didn't know how I felt. About anything. 


I went over to his house that night and I have been sitting here trying to remember what we did but, I can't remember! I am having memories of sitting on the couch visiting with all the family that kept stopping by. The one thing I do remember (quite vividly) is that when I left he walked me to the car and yes......we kissed.....I wish I could say it was a magical kiss that washed away all my feelings of doubt, but I was still confused. I remember that Jonas said to me, "I still feel the same." I just hugged him. I didn't know how to respond. It was a good thing Jonas didn't give up on me (or catch on that I was unsure of my feelings) because as far as this sweet handsome returned missionary knew it was like he had never left! And you know......that is so Jonas! He was not very observant. There was no beating around the bush with him. If I wanted him to know how I was feeling I had to speak loud and clear. His nonobservance did serve a greater purpose it later years though. I could totally get away with buying new clothes and he rarely noticed. So yes, before kids......I had a GREAT wardrobe! 

My feelings of doubt just started to go away the more time I spent with Jonas. All the old feelings started to return. The butterflies in my stomach came back every time he called me on the phone. The complete and total happiness I felt when I was with him was back. The smiling and laughing and even the kissing, they were back and I loved it! I loved him. I had fallen in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. Jonas did want to move a little faster than me. He wanted to get married in December. Remember he had returned home on August 21st! Remember I was only 18! I didn't think I would be ready for a wedding in December so we decided on June. I guess getting married six months later would be enough time for me to grow and mature so that I could become his wife (insert sarcasm) and besides, I would be the ripe old age of 19 by then. Holy crap. I was so young!

I have questioned the intelligence of us getting married that young several times over the years. Why didn't we wait until Jonas had some schooling behind him? Why didn't we wait until we had built up a savings account? Why didn't I finish school first? Both Jonas and I would say to each other, "what were we thinking getting married so young!" We struggled so much in those first years (obviously the six months didn't do much to improve my maturity). But now, I am ever so grateful and thankful that we DID get married that young. I got to spend almost 14 years with Jonas. If we had waited our years of being married would have been so much shorter. They were already cut DRASTICALLY short. I am so thankful we were too in love (or too dumb) to not wait. I wouldn't want it any other way.


Now, when my boys get older and read this. Yes, we really were 25 when we got married and your daddy had already graduated college! DO NOT try and get out of the pact we made that you will be 25 and a college graduate before you marry. ;)

Jonas and I were married on June 26, 1997 in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a perfect day. A long day, but a perfect one. Maybe I will write more about that in June when it's closer to our anniversary. It would have been our fourteenth anniversary this year. That will be a hard day. I miss you so much Jonas. How I will ever survive this time without you is not something I can understand or figure out. My heart aches for you every day. I hope you know how much I love you and how grateful I am for you. You did so much for me and the boys. You worked so hard for our family. You were the best dad and the boys love and miss you so much. I am not sure how we will be able to go on. I guess just one day at a time. One day at a time. It sounds pretty miserable if you ask me. Dang it. My heart hurts! I need you back. I will love you always and forever Jonas. Please watch over us.