14 years and 1, 487 photos

 I have 1, 487 photos in a special folder on my computer. Some of just his hands, some side views, some of him in the background....but ALL of Jonas. Will it ever be enough? I doubt it. I have more in my photo albums. I haven't counted those yet, but one day I will scan them all and put them in my collection. My priceless precious collection of pictures. The pictures tell a story and oh how I wish I had more! Oh how I wish I had every precious moment captured in a picture.

Mr. & Mrs. Jonas Webster

  Fourteen years ago on June 26, 1997 I married the love of my life. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple on a beautiful hot sunny day and pronounced husband and wife at 9:20 AM (I just found that in my journal. Joe's bishop noted the time for us.) After the wedding ceremony we had pictures and then went to the Olive Garden for our wedding luncheon. Sadly, I don't remember much about the luncheon. I did write about it in my journal and I said there were lots of people and the food was delicious.

We had bought a condo in May that we had been fixing up and moving our things into. Neither of us had actually moved in yet. So after the luncheon we went to our condo to get some "rest". I will just leave it at that. :)

Our reception was at Canterbury Reception Center in Bountiful. I wrote in my journal how beautiful everything was and that I was so happy with the way things turned out. I remember how bad my back hurt after standing in line from 6:30 to almost 9:30! The reception was supposed to end at 8:30 but we had so many people waiting in line that it took that long to get everyone through. If I could do it all again I would never ever have a line! Why didn't we just dance and mingle? (You get so much wiser with age and experience!) So by the time we got all the people through the line there weren't very many people left to see us cut the cake, throw the flower bouquet, and catch the leg garter. I am sitting here wondering why we didn't do all that earlier in the night? I think because it was the first wedding for my parents and Joe's parents. We were all so inexperienced at this thing! But it was still a beautiful perfect day.

We didn't get to the Anniversary Inn until 11:00 that night. Jonas insisted on going to a car wash so he could spray his jeep off from all the "decorations" that were put on his car. I am pretty sure I was irritated that he just didn't want to wait until the morning! But we finally arrived and realized how starving we both were. We ordered domino's pizza and then went straight to sleep..... (wink wink).

 Jesse Person, Tyler Webster, Grandpa Fred Todd, Grandma Veryle Todd, Jonas, & Brittney. Four of these six people are now angels in Heaven. (Jesse, Grandpa, Grandma, Jonas)

Grandpa Bud and Grandma Alberta Webster. Grandpa Bud is also an angel in heaven...

It has been really hard to sit here and remember all the details of our wedding day. It makes my heart hurt to know that Jonas will no longer be here with me to celebrate the day we got married. We were so young and in love on that day. We definitely had our struggles through the years, but through each trial our love continued to grow deeper and I can say with confidence that on the day Jonas died we were very much in love. I know he loved me and I loved him. If I knew 14 years ago that I would be grieving for my husband on this day would I go through it all again? Definitely. To have great pain means I had great love. I would definitely do it all again. Although, had I known I only had less than 14 years to be with him I would have tried much harder to show my love and appreciation more often. I would have forgot the small irritations and focused more on making us a happy family. BUT....."should of's" will get me nowhere. They will only get me stuck in the mud. So I will stop and just focus on the 13 1/2 years of good memories I have. I love you Joe! Happy Anniversary.

A Love Story.....Just Beginning

Continuing on from my post "The Love Story Continues", after I left the airport I had to go back to work. Jonas went home and I had to go endure five more hours of work. I told Jonas I would come over to his house later that evening. I was so nervous the rest of the day! The five hours felt like ten. I honestly didn't know how I felt. About anything. 


I went over to his house that night and I have been sitting here trying to remember what we did but, I can't remember! I am having memories of sitting on the couch visiting with all the family that kept stopping by. The one thing I do remember (quite vividly) is that when I left he walked me to the car and yes......we kissed.....I wish I could say it was a magical kiss that washed away all my feelings of doubt, but I was still confused. I remember that Jonas said to me, "I still feel the same." I just hugged him. I didn't know how to respond. It was a good thing Jonas didn't give up on me (or catch on that I was unsure of my feelings) because as far as this sweet handsome returned missionary knew it was like he had never left! And you know......that is so Jonas! He was not very observant. There was no beating around the bush with him. If I wanted him to know how I was feeling I had to speak loud and clear. His nonobservance did serve a greater purpose it later years though. I could totally get away with buying new clothes and he rarely noticed. So yes, before kids......I had a GREAT wardrobe! 

My feelings of doubt just started to go away the more time I spent with Jonas. All the old feelings started to return. The butterflies in my stomach came back every time he called me on the phone. The complete and total happiness I felt when I was with him was back. The smiling and laughing and even the kissing, they were back and I loved it! I loved him. I had fallen in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. Jonas did want to move a little faster than me. He wanted to get married in December. Remember he had returned home on August 21st! Remember I was only 18! I didn't think I would be ready for a wedding in December so we decided on June. I guess getting married six months later would be enough time for me to grow and mature so that I could become his wife (insert sarcasm) and besides, I would be the ripe old age of 19 by then. Holy crap. I was so young!

I have questioned the intelligence of us getting married that young several times over the years. Why didn't we wait until Jonas had some schooling behind him? Why didn't we wait until we had built up a savings account? Why didn't I finish school first? Both Jonas and I would say to each other, "what were we thinking getting married so young!" We struggled so much in those first years (obviously the six months didn't do much to improve my maturity). But now, I am ever so grateful and thankful that we DID get married that young. I got to spend almost 14 years with Jonas. If we had waited our years of being married would have been so much shorter. They were already cut DRASTICALLY short. I am so thankful we were too in love (or too dumb) to not wait. I wouldn't want it any other way.


Now, when my boys get older and read this. Yes, we really were 25 when we got married and your daddy had already graduated college! DO NOT try and get out of the pact we made that you will be 25 and a college graduate before you marry. ;)

Jonas and I were married on June 26, 1997 in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a perfect day. A long day, but a perfect one. Maybe I will write more about that in June when it's closer to our anniversary. It would have been our fourteenth anniversary this year. That will be a hard day. I miss you so much Jonas. How I will ever survive this time without you is not something I can understand or figure out. My heart aches for you every day. I hope you know how much I love you and how grateful I am for you. You did so much for me and the boys. You worked so hard for our family. You were the best dad and the boys love and miss you so much. I am not sure how we will be able to go on. I guess just one day at a time. One day at a time. It sounds pretty miserable if you ask me. Dang it. My heart hurts! I need you back. I will love you always and forever Jonas. Please watch over us.

The Love Story Continues....

The cute boy (have you figured out it's Jonas) and the sixteen year old (thats me) continued writing each other during the two years of Joe's mission. Actually, I did most of the writing. Jonas got letters out....occasionally. I think my mom heard plenty of whining and complaining from me that Jonas had forgotten about me or "why wasn't he writing?" Just to see me a few days later ecstatic because I had FINALLY received a letter from him! What a roller coaster those two years were!


I did date while Jonas was on his mission. I had fun going to all the High School dances and going on other dates during the time Jonas was gone. I never dated anyone exclusivly though. After graduation I started working full time at Certified Warehouse. I actually have really fun memories of working in a warehouse. I was the only person who worked in the office but the warehouse workers were fun and I really enjoyed being at work.


In August of 1996 I got a phone call from Joe's mom, Kathy, who told me Jonas had been diagnosed with diabetes and was in the hospital in Argentina. She told me he would be coming home in one week. I remember feeling unsure of myself and not really knowing how to react. I was expecting him home in October and hearing he would be home on August 21st was strange. I was so unprepared for this news! I remember I had gone on some fun dates with someone recently and was thinking, "Wait!!! Jonas can't come home!! I need to keep dating this other guy to see how things will turn out for us. I am supposed to have until October before I see Jonas again!"  If you can't tell, I was really nervous for him to come home and totally didn't know what to expect. It had been TWO years! I was graduated from High School and working a full time job. When he left I was just starting my junior year. I was confused. I was nervous.


So the day arrived. I went to the airport with my mom and two youngest sisters. I think I mentioned this in another post, but I remember hiding behind one of Joe's friends when he came out of the gate. I didn't want to be the center of attention so I let his family and friends hug him before he saw me. Everyone had their turn and then it was mine. I had envisioned this hug for two years. No, Yanni was not playing over the sound system (because that is the music I always listened to when I envisioned this hug) and it wasn't slow motion with joyful laughing and crying and he did not swing me around in a circle saying he missed me and would never leave me again. No. It was none of those things I had envisioned. But it felt really good to hug him again and I was so happy he was home safe and sound. He had lost lots of weight from being so sick and he looked very tired. But he was home! Two years had gone by and here we were. Now. The question on my mind. Would things be the same???

Here is the "magical" first hug I dreamed about for two years

Elder Webster has returned!

1996

 These two pictures of Jonas and his younger brother Tyler make me laugh. Tyler had a HUGE growth spurt while Jonas was gone!

1994

I won't make you wait as long for the next chapter. Maybe I will even write it tomorrow. But I should really get to bed. 

The Beginning of a Love Story...

Once there was a sixteen year old girl who worked as a lifeguard at Raging Waters. Her cousin,who was also a lifeguard, wanted her to go on a group date with him and his girlfriend to see the Fourth of July fireworks at Sugarhouse Park. The sixteen year old said she had no one to take so she probably wouldn't go. Her cousin, being the outgoing, stubborn person he always was, said, "Who do want to go with? I will set you up." Just then, the boy whom the sixteen year old thought was VERY cute and very funny walked by. 
"Him." she replied. "He is really cute," (as she giggled and turned red).
 "OK." was her cousins reply. "I will get him to ask you out."


The morning passed and late afternoon was arriving. This sixteen year old was wondering if her cousin was going to pull through with getting the cute boy to ask her out. The sixteen year old's cousin came over to where she was guarding. "Did he ask you out yet?" 
"No" replied the sixteen year old.
"Don't worry. He will." said the cousin.


Sure enough about 30 minutes later, up walks the cute (very shy) boy that the sixteen year old wanted to go out with.


Now, this sixteen year old can't really remember how the conversation went, other than he did ask her to go to the fireworks that night and the cute boy was extremely nervous while doing the asking, but she excitedly said yes. The sixteen year old remembers having butterflies in her stomach at the thought of going on a date with him. 


The sixteen year old and the cute boy had a lot of fun together. There was a group of about 8 people and they took coolers full of food up to the fireworks and sat on a steep hill on blankets. After the fireworks were over they waited for the crowds to clear and they went blanket rolling down the steep hill. They all laughed and had a perfect first date. 

Raging Waters 1994

Those perfect dates continued through the summer. There was hiking, camp fires, hanging out with friends at Raging Waters, swimming, movies, dinners, many late nights (that the sixteen years old parents never approved of), and always lots of smiling and laughing. The sixteen year old girl and the cute boy were having the best summer, but then the cute boy had to start getting ready to serve a mission. He had been called to serve in Bahia Blanca, Argentina and would be leaving the sixteen year old girl in October of 1994. 

Hiking and camp fires with some of Joe's friends
August 1994

The summer ended and the sixteen year old girl had to go back to school to start her Junior year. The cute boy got a job at Deseret Gym working as a lifeguard and started to get things ready to go on his mission. The cute boy took the sixteen year old to her Homecoming Dance in September. He asked her by filling a cleaned out pumpkin with spaghetti noodles and pumpkin  seeds. He put the letters to his name inside the pumpkin in little capsules that took this poor sixteen year old a long long time to find. She was overjoyed when she realized it was her "cute boy" that had asked her to the dance. They had a great time together and she  later realized what a good sport this cute boy was for taking a sixteen year old to her Homecoming when he had already graduated High School!

Bountiful High Homecoming 1994

October 19, 1994 came and it was time for the cute boy to go the the MTC. It was very sad and hard for the sixteen year old girl and cute boy to say goodbye, but they knew it was what the cute boy wanted to do and so the sixteen year old promised to write and they said their goodbyes.

Totally breaking missionary rules
 by hugging instead of  giving a hand shake

To be continued.....