We will love you forever Joe! August 21, 1975-February 22, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

14 years and 1, 487 photos

 I have 1, 487 photos in a special folder on my computer. Some of just his hands, some side views, some of him in the background....but ALL of Jonas. Will it ever be enough? I doubt it. I have more in my photo albums. I haven't counted those yet, but one day I will scan them all and put them in my collection. My priceless precious collection of pictures. The pictures tell a story and oh how I wish I had more! Oh how I wish I had every precious moment captured in a picture.
Mr. & Mrs. Jonas Webster


  Fourteen years ago on June 26, 1997 I married the love of my life. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple on a beautiful hot sunny day and pronounced husband and wife at 9:20 AM (I just found that in my journal. Joe's bishop noted the time for us.) After the wedding ceremony we had pictures and then went to the Olive Garden for our wedding luncheon. Sadly, I don't remember much about the luncheon. I did write about it in my journal and I said there were lots of people and the food was delicious.




We had bought a condo in May that we had been fixing up and moving our things into. Neither of us had actually moved in yet. So after the luncheon we went to our condo to get some "rest". I will just leave it at that. :)


Our reception was at Canterbury Reception Center in Bountiful. I wrote in my journal how beautiful everything was and that I was so happy with the way things turned out. I remember how bad my back hurt after standing in line from 6:30 to almost 9:30! The reception was supposed to end at 8:30 but we had so many people waiting in line that it took that long to get everyone through. If I could do it all again I would never ever have a line! Why didn't we just dance and mingle? (You get so much wiser with age and experience!) So by the time we got all the people through the line there weren't very many people left to see us cut the cake, throw the flower bouquet, and catch the leg garter. I am sitting here wondering why we didn't do all that earlier in the night? I think because it was the first wedding for my parents and Joe's parents. We were all so inexperienced at this thing! But it was still a beautiful perfect day.






We didn't get to the Anniversary Inn until 11:00 that night. Jonas insisted on going to a car wash so he could spray his jeep off from all the "decorations" that were put on his car. I am pretty sure I was irritated that he just didn't want to wait until the morning! But we finally arrived and realized how starving we both were. We ordered domino's pizza and then went straight to sleep..... (wink wink).

 Jesse Person, Tyler Webster, Grandpa Fred Todd, Grandma Veryle Todd, Jonas, & Brittney. Four of these six people are now angels in Heaven. (Jesse, Grandpa, Grandma, Jonas)
Grandpa Bud and Grandma Alberta Webster. Grandpa Bud is also an angel in heaven...

It has been really hard to sit here and remember all the details of our wedding day. It makes my heart hurt to know that Jonas will no longer be here with me to celebrate the day we got married. We were so young and in love on that day. We definitely had our struggles through the years, but through each trial our love continued to grow deeper and I can say with confidence that on the day Jonas died we were very much in love. I know he loved me and I loved him. If I knew 14 years ago that I would be grieving for my husband on this day would I go through it all again? Definitely. To have great pain means I had great love. I would definitely do it all again. Although, had I known I only had less than 14 years to be with him I would have tried much harder to show my love and appreciation more often. I would have forgot the small irritations and focused more on making us a happy family. BUT....."should of's" will get me nowhere. They will only get me stuck in the mud. So I will stop and just focus on the 13 1/2 years of good memories I have. I love you Joe! Happy Anniversary.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Father's in my life

Denny, Jonas, Glen, and Jack on his blessing day

How lucky I am to be blessed with three amazing father's in my life.

My dad is truly a special and unique dad and grandpa. How many dads and grandpas do you know have gone to every ballet recital of their daughter's and granddaughter's.......never missing one in the past 26 years?! How many grandpas do you know will chase their grandkids around the house making them scream with delight? How many grandpas will jump on the trampoline, hold kids at their urgent requests, babysit, change diapers, make bottles, and cuddle with them on the rocking chair while they watch a Disney movie together? How many dads buy their "grown" daughter's tickets to see Broadway shows, buy them tender Christmas gifts that put all the sisters in tears, would do ANYTHING for his girls, and LOVE us all beyond words? My dad. I am truly blessed to have him in mine and my children's life. We love him dearly.
Daddy Daughter 50's night with the young women

How lucky was I to marry a man that adored his children and worked so hard and diligently to provide for his family. He played Legos, xbox, soccer, and wrestled with the boys. He helped with homework, read bedtime stories, and loved to cuddle with them on the couch. He took them to see movies, they went on hikes together, they fished together, and had campfires in the backyard. He had started teaching Ben about fixing cars and teaching him how to wire together his "electrical kit" from college that Ben LOVED. Jack adored him. When Jonas walked in the door after work, he would run to him saying "daddy home, daddy home" and give him a big hug. Sam loved sitting by his dad. He would snuggle right next to him on the couch and was always asking Jonas to help him figure out the newest video game he was playing. Jonas would get on his laptop and look up "tips and tricks" to help Sam win the game. (Now I have to do that and I'm pretty sure I don't enjoy it as much as Jonas did!) Jonas and the boys loved to camp out in the tent in our backyard. They loved playing soccer together and they just enjoyed the time they spent together. It is so heartbreaking that Sam, Ben, and Jack no longer have their daddy to make memories with. We miss you dearly Joe. We love you forever.
They were looking for ideas to carve their "scary" pumpkin

Jack and his daddy

Ben and his daddy

Sam and his daddy with grandpa Denny

The boy club

How lucky am I that my wonderful husband was raised by a wonderful father. Denny taught Jonas the value of hard work and what it means to be not just a "father", but a kind, loving, and caring father. Denny taught Joe how to fix cars and to try doing things on his own instead of having to pay others to  fix things for him. Denny took his family on many fun vacations with lots of fishing and camping trips. Denny supported Joe in his athletics, his scouting program and while he served his mission. He encouraged Jonas to keep on going with his education and was always there to give Joe advice when he asked for it. Denny was always there for Jonas and was a great example of how a husband and father should be towards his family. Jonas had a deep respect for his dad and I know he loved him with all his heart. I also respect and love Denny. I am so thankful that my children will still be able to spend time with their daddy's dad, grandpa Denny. I want my boys to know how much their daddy loved his dad and what a great father he was to their daddy. We love you grandpa Denny!
Denny and Jonas

Sunday, June 19, 2011

June 15th, 2011.....Happy 8th Birthday Samuel!

Sam did it. He really turned 8. Even though he didn't have my permission, he got another year older. :) Time goes way too fast! When we moved to West Bountiful he was 3.
He wasn't even in preschool yet and now he will be going into the third grade! I am so proud of Sam. He has such a tender heart. He cares about other people and is such a good example to his younger brothers. He is a great babysitter to Jack and is so helpful to me. 
(Especially when he is earning time on the xbox.) 

Sam LOVES playing the xbox and he LOVES Ben 10! Ben 10 has been a favorite of his since 1st grade and it still ranks very high on his list of likes! He also likes lego hero factory and lego bionicles. He enjoys playing soccer and riding his bike. He his a FAST runner and loves to win races against me and anyone else he can beat. Some of his favorite foods are school lunch macaroni and cheese, school lunch hot dogs, and school lunch mashed potatoes. (He calls them smashed potatoes.) He tells me that the hotdogs and macaroni and cheese we eat at home are just ok. The schools are much better! He doesn't like the "real" mashed potatoes I make at home. Sam HATES it when the table is messy. When he sits down to eat he wants a clean table......plates that get left on it from earlier in the day make him gag. Pieces of spilled food on the table make him gag. It's actually pretty funny how disgusted he gets at spilled food on the table or dirty dishes he sees. He also likes a clean room when he goes to bed at night. Hopefully this "cleanliness" trait of his will stick with him through his teenage years!


I sure love my sweet Sam. (He likes to be Samuel when he writes his name at school). I am so lucky to have him. I know Jonas would also be very proud of our 8 year old son!

This is spider monkey.....one of the Ben 10 aliens. Sam also loves dressing up in costumes. Just a few weeks ago he convinced me to paint his face so he could dress up in a vampire costume. I love that he loves to dress up still. :)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

My Happy Moments









How do I get through each day? My kids make me. They are moving on with life at a much faster pace than I want to, so I get up each day and take care of them.  I do laundry, I wash dishes, I change diapers, I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I plan birthday parties, I referee fights, I hand out job lists, reading charts, and homework pages. I give baths, enforce bedtime, and ever SO patiently tell them to STAY IN BED! Yep. Life is moving on. Even if I would rather it stay on PAUSE for awhile. Life is moving on and I am so lucky I have my boys to keep me moving and even smiling.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Joe's Medical History part 2

April 2007

If you haven't read part 1 of Joe's medical history, you can do that here.

I should probably add in some details of what was going on in our lives as it plays a part in Jonas deciding not to seek medical attention right away. So here is a brief time line of our lives.

November 1996, Jonas started working full time at Martin Door Manufacturing and I was working full time at Certified Warehouse
June 26, 1997, we got married!
Jan 1998, Jonas started school at SLCC
Jan 1998, I started working full time at First American Title
January 1999, I started school at SLCC
May 2001, Jonas graduated from SLCC
August 2001, Jonas started at the University of Utah. He was also working at SliceX
May 2003, Jonas graduated with honors in Electrical Engineering from the U of U
May 2003, I graduated from SLCC
June 2003, Samuel was born
July 2003, Jonas got laid off his job at SliceX. He decided he should just go back to school since he couldn't find a job.
August 2003, I went back to work at First American Title
August 2003, Jonas started working on a dual Masters and PhD program in Electrical Engineering
Sometime in 2004, Jonas was hired at Lattice Semiconductors
March 2005, Ben was born
March 2005, I quit working to stay home with our boys


2001 SLCC graduate

2003 SLCC graduate
2003 U of U graduate


Sam is born June 15, 2003 on Father's Day

Ben is born March 14, 2005



After Joe's ER visit in April 2005, the doctors referred him to a hematologist. I remember how upset he was when the information packet came in the mail and it was from Utah Cancer Institute. Just knowing he had to see a doctor that worked in that facility really scared him. Our first appointment was nerve racking. Every test they wanted to do was in Joe's mind, "the next test that would be positive for cancer." But after several blood tests, a bone marrow biopsy, CT scans, and MRI's. They still could not figure out why his white blood count was so low. The doctor started to talk about it being an autoimmune problem and they did discover he had a really large spleen. At one point I remember a doctor wanting to do a scope on Joe's stomach (I am not positive if it was this doctor) but when he went to the procedure the anesthesiologist wouldn't put him under because of all the crackling he could hear in his lungs. Joe never followed up with a lung doctor. He said he was too busy in school to keep going to all these doctor appointments. Now, I had been trying to get Jonas to see a lung doctor for several years because he was ALWAYS coughing. But he would tell me that the doctors would not be able to fix it, so why bother? Seriously. Men are SO stubborn.

Moving out of our Taylorsville condo that we lived in for 8 years!
Jonas was busy working at Lattice Semiconductors and going to school. We were in the process of trying to sell our condo and were considering a homes in West Jordan. A small miracle happened when Jonas agreed to build a home in West Bountiful. Now, for the record Jonas loved my family, but he never wanted to live that close to them. He liked his space. We were attending a BBQ at a friends house in West Bountiful one summer evening and he said he had really liked the feel of the neighborhood and could see us living there. I immediately jumped on that and knew there was one lot left for sale in the same subdivision. A few days later we put a hold on the lot, but a week later decided not to build there because we were going to buy Jonas' sisters home in West Jordan. A week later we decided we didn't want to live in West Jordan and wanted to build in West Bountiful. (We were so indecisive!) I called the agent but another couple had a hold on it and would be deciding in the next two days if they would keep it. This was the second couple after us that had a hold on the lot. Lucky for us, they decided not build and we got it back! I was thrilled! It had gone through us, two other couples, and back to us. It was totally meant to be. And now we know why. I needed to be close to my family or I would not be able to get through the upcoming years.

 Jonas got laid off his job at Lattice Semiconductors in December 2005, one month before we were going to close on our home.  It was another small miracle that our loan still went through and we were able to move into our West Bountiful home in January 2006. We lived off of student loans until May 2006 when Jonas was hired at Summit Microelectronics. It was a huge blessing for us to have Jonas working at Summit.
We moved into our new West Bountiful home in January 2006

With his new job and insurance change, we would now be seeing doctors at the University of Utah. About June of 2006 Jonas had another visit with his diabetic doctor. She found that his white blood count was still really low so she told him to go back to a hematologist. We went to see Dr. Shami at the Huntsman Center. He thought maybe it was Joe's large spleen that was trapping all the white blood cells and causing the low count so he sent us to see a surgeon about getting his spleen removed. He also wanted us to see a lung doctor about all the crackling he could hear in his lungs.

The surgeon did not think removing Joe's spleen was a good idea. He said he wanted a better reason to remove it than just because it was large and that it may or may not be trapping white blood cells.

The second doctor we started to see was Dr. Liou, a pulmonary doctor at the CF clinic. More testing began. One test I remember vividly was the test to see if he had CF (cystic fibrosis). They had him do a sweat test at Primary Children's Hospital. I don't remember exactly how the test was done, but I do remember his arm being wrapped in plastic wrap and we had to wait about 30 minutes before he could take the plastic wrap off. I remember sitting outside waiting for the 30 minutes to pass and how nervous and emotional Jonas was. All these tests were so hard on him mentally.

About August 2006, Dr Shami diagnosed him with autoimmune neutropenia. Which is a chronic low white blood count. Jonas would have to take a neupogen shot every three days to keep his white blood counts at safe levels. It didn't seem too bad. He just had to keep up with the shots and he would be fine. Or so we thought.

About September 2006, Dr. Liou diagnosed him with a rare and life threatening lung infection called Mycobacterium Kansasii. Jonas had to start taking 4 different oral antibiotics for this infection; rifampin, levaquin, ethambutol, and azithromycin. It would be a two year treatment because of how hard it was to get rid of an infection like this.

(Notice Jonas is wearing the same thing on Christmas 2005 and Christmas 2006.....he LOVED his UTES hoodie!)


Christmas 2005
He actually felt pretty good during 2005 and 2006. He started to not feel as great starting in 2007. That is when the never ending roller coaster began with his health. I will try and finish up his medical history soon. It has taken me so long to write this. I started it weeks ago. It's really hard to sit and think about all the details of Jonas getting sick, but I think its good for me to do.

December 2006 was our first Christmas in our new home. It was also the last Christmas Jonas was healthy. I remember he stayed up late with me to arrange the Thomas the train set the boys got that year. It was a perfect Christmas.

Christmas morning 2006
Santa came!

Jonas loved getting seasons of South Park



Ben has always loved to help build things
Jonas was testing out the cool track he built

A perfect Christmas!