Maybe I should go to bed at a decent hour every night so that I can feel better when I get up in the morning...but I probably won't.
Maybe I should exercise every day to help me loose the inches and pounds that keep showing up on my body...but I probably won't.
Maybe I should stop pretending that everything is fine...but I probably won't.
Maybe I should focus on one project at a time so that I can actually get something accomplished and crossed off my massive to do list...but I probably won't.
Maybe one day my heart will actually believe and accept that Jonas is not coming home...but probably not.
Maybe if my entire house gets de-cluttered and organized my mind will feel de-cluttered and organized...but I am not counting on it.
Maybe the next time I watch a Utah football game it won't make me miss Jonas so much that it makes my heart and head feel like they will explode...but I probably just won't watch another one.
Maybe one day I won't hate the thought of going to bed each night without Jonas....doubt it.
Maybe one day I will stop turning to chocolate for comfort...probably not!
Maybe one day I will feel joy again....wow, that's an interesting thought....joy.....what's that?
Maybe I should figure out what to do with the rest of my life and focus on my future and stop grieving for the past....yeah, right....that's what someone with a "focused" mind would do.
Maybe I should not blog at 2:00AM because they end up being too depressing to read...hmmmm....
Maybe I should just go to bed....
5 comments:
Britt... I think about you often. This life is so so tough but I know that Heavenly Father knows your pain and will carry you through. I love ya girlie hang in there!
Jaime
Brit- my heart aches and aches for you! I hate that my sister has to go through this. I just hate it! You are amazing though, Heavenly Father made you that way so you could make it through. I love you so much!!!
My sweet daughter, keep your chin up. I love you so much!!
Every single day you cross my mind and I say a little prayer. What a hard thing this is to go through! I burn the midnight oil too and it eventually does me in like tonight I feel exhausted! We somehow are going to get through this... know that I love you!!!
Why worry about any of those things for now? They may change eventually, but give yourself time Brittney. It's all still too new.
xx
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