Things change. Bad things happen. Even to a family that I thought was "exempt" from another death in the family since we lost Jesse, (Joe's brother in law) on Feb. 11, 2002. I was pretty naive to think that the Websters wouldn't have to face death again. But I suppose that's what I am good at. Being naive.
Things have become hard again. The grief wave has crashed once again and I am having a hard time finding purpose in life and motivation to do much. I think what is really getting to me is that I have to start 2012 without Jonas. I will no longer be able to say "last year at this time" once February 22, 2012 comes. I don't want to start a new year without my husband.
But...I will. The New Year will come and I will still be a widow raising three young boys. I will get up each day to take care of my handsome boys and hopefully find peace and motivation again. It's a good thing I have family to keep me moving. I know I couldn't do this without their love and support. It's a good thing I have Sam, Ben, and Jack. They are my world.
Last year at this time I had an eternal family. I am so thankful and grateful to know that I still do. I always will.
This is our "daddy" tree. All the ornaments on it represent Jonas. I had a fun time looking for ornaments that would fit on our tree. Some of them are Ute footballs, books, fishing, camping, angels, and computers. My family and Joe's family also contributed ornaments to the tree that represented Jonas to them. It is a special tree and I am already excited to add to it next year. When my boys have Christmas trees of their own they will be able to have the ornaments from their "daddy's tree". That thought makes me smile.
6 comments:
I don't know how you get through each day, but keep it up. I'm so sorry the new year is coming and it makes you so sad. You're so strong. Love you
You are a strong woman Brittany. I never see you without a smile on your face. It is too bad that none of us are "exempt". My brother's son passed away at Christmas time 22 years ago. I remember him telling me once that I wouldn't have to worry about my kids because..."lightening never strikes twice". But as you know we weren't "exempt" either, because our daughter passed away less than two years later. I'm hoping and praying that you will have things to look forward to in 2012... and keep smiling :)
I just realized I spelled your name wrong. Sorry.
Britt,
We love you guys so much. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think or pray for you and the Websters. You guys are amazing and your boys are so lucky to have you. We hope you find happiness in the new year. Love you guys!
Ah sweet daughter, keep your chin up, even though it's rough you are doing it. I love you so much!
I can't even imagine how hard it must be to go through what you are. Hang in there, and hopefully all of the prayers I know are being said for you will help carry you through this difficult time. I am so amazed by what a strong and beautiful woman you are.
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